I believe the children are our future

What I learned from my students today:

• Hooking up with fewer than three girls over break is a "poor showing."
• A "leaner" is a fun-filled oft-used prank that involves leaning buckets of water against hotel room doors in a precarious manner, leading to the spilling of large amounts of water into the hotel room upon opening the door.
• Leaners are "okay" since the maids "just clean it up anyway. I mean, that's their JOB."
• "Good, clean fun" is defined as drinking heavily, but not so heavily that you have a hangover the next day.
• A number of pubic speakers drank and toasted "in honor" of me during their trips. Yes, what an honor, indeed.
• Another "fun thing to do" is to go up to a cute girl, pretend to be nervous, and pee in your swimming suit in front of her to see how she'll react.
• Under no circumstances will a child of mine ever, in a million years, attend a high school spring break "senior trip."