For the love

I was just reading down my blog and realized I'd written "Summer's off..." in my post about the dentist.

I believe it was just yesterday when I ripped into a kid for using an apostrophe to make something plural.

Go figure.

Taking On Too Much

I think I've officially reached the point where I can admit, even to myself, that I have a problem.

Just before leaving for college, Abby made me a packet of posters to hang on my desk. It was filled with inspirational quotes, pictures, nice sayings, and otherwise pleasing viewing material. The one not-so-subtle lesson she included in this packet was the full sized sheet of paper reading nothing more than the word "NO" in size 72 font. Like I said, not-so-subtle.

I have a hard time saying no. This was true then. This is true now. I have this issue with letting people down, and I agree to do things that I have absolutely no interest in doing, just to avoid that sense of letting them down after they've asked me to do them. So I agree. I tell myself it "won't be so bad" and that "it'll be worth it in the long run." And then it's terrible. I wonder what in all hell I was thinking agreeing to do this. And then the self-loathing begins.

The problem is that I agree to do things, despite the recommendations and suggestions and concerns of the people close to me, and then I complain about how horrific it is that I've agreed to do them to these very same people.

KC has been trying to help me move past this problem for the last few weeks. Kace, I think I'll refer you to Abby (among others) who've been trying to help me move past this problem for years. It's possible, though, just maybe possible, that I've finally reached my limit.

Hi. My name is Rachel. And I can't say no.

Shift Happens

At our back to school workshops, Scott McLeod (Iowa State University) showed us this video he and Karl Fisch created. If you have a second (or eight minutes), it's worth a viewing.

The Dentist

Nice Dental Hygienist: "So...you're STILL teaching...how's that going?"

Me (in the two seconds I had between cleaning): "Good. Really good. I love it."

Nice Dental Hygienist: "Yeah...summer's off...I just don't know how you do it."

Me: blank stare

NDH: "I mean, don't you get bored?"

Me: "Bored?"

NDH: "Yeah, day after day of nothing to do. Isn't it hard?"

Me: "No. It's unbelievably easy."

A teeth cleaning, flossing, and forty five minutes later:

NDH (reading my chart): "Wow...looks like the first time I saw you was in 1989. I wrote that you were such a nice little patient."

I just tried to smile and thank her and tried to get on my way, particularly since visions of what I looked like circa 1989 came dancing through my head...yet again.

Old Friends

Last night I had dinner with a group of friends who I have known longer than I haven't.

Tonight I went out with friends from Olaf who I lived with for four years.

There is much to be said for surrounding yourself with friends who know you that well--who know all your stories and all your quirks and all your annoying habits; who know what you're like every early morning and late night of the week. These people were good therapy for me.

Good friends, good wine, and some very good laughs, can remind you of who and what you really are.

The Highlight

I think the highlight of the first two days of school was when a particularly delightful and charming senior paused on his way out of my room after public speaking today.

He half turned, paused, and said, "I think this class is going to be good."

I looked up at him, "You think?"

And he grinned and said, "Yeah, you know, I really think it could be something special."

I'm not sure I agree with him--I mean, Public Speaking can be a lot of things, but "special" wouldn't be the first word I'd choose--but for the time being, he is SO my favorite student.

Cover me. I'm going in.

I felt like I should post to my blog tonight in honor of the upcoming school year and in fond remembrance of the summer gone by.

Instead, all I could bring myself to do was click around on other people's blogs.

This really says it all.